Age-Gap Relationships Are No Biggie To A Majority Of Daters In 2024
The 2024 dating scene may seem quite foreign to the newly single. Along with the presence of obnoxious dating trends like OnlyPlans and projections that traditional dating concepts are going out the window, finding a mate (or a fling) in the modern world can mean navigating uncharted territory. In fact, those in the dating pool are setting new standards based on their habits and preferences, one of which is no longer caring about age gaps in relationships. According to a recent Bumble survey, 63% of those using the dating app in 2024 don't consider age to be a "defining factor" when filtering for potential matches (via PositivesDating).
Relationship coach Jonathan Hartley believes that letting go of age restrictions when it comes to dating will make it easier to find what you're looking for in the long run, per PositivesDating. For one thing, your number of potential matches will instantly increase. But by adopting this open-minded attitude, you'll also learn that there are other, more important elements to consider when dating someone, including whether your beliefs and wants align.
Ultimately, imposing age restrictions on your dates is a personal decision, but experts have come up with some good reasons why you might want to think about letting yours go. That said, for those who are weighing up a relationship with an age gap, there are still some potential challenges to consider.
Why age gaps might not matter in relationships
Aside from the fact that dropping your age standards significantly opens up the pool of prospective matches, dating outside of your age (or even your generation) can add a positive dynamic to your relationship. A couple with an age gap will naturally have a lot of differences, but these can actually enrich your bond. You can introduce each other to new interests, hobbies, and even mindsets that are specific to your ages — for example, the older partner's favorite old-school rock band or the younger partner's more politically progressive attitude. Age gaps can also help you find your ideal role in a relationship based on what's familiar to you. For instance, if you were the eldest child, you might naturally be happiest in a relationship where you get to take on the elder role.
While age might not be just a number to everyone, it's only one factor. Many more important elements have proven to have a stronger correlation with relationship success (via PsychCentral). Beyond age, successful relationships are likely to be associated with financial security, a secure attachment style, and high levels of emotional intelligence, which are all independent of a person's age.
Relationship expert Samantha Jayne told News.com.au that dating someone older can bring qualities like security and maturity. Similarly, dating younger can make you feel more youthful. However, Jayne explained, "All circumstances are different, and it does come down to an individual." You never know until you try.
What to be mindful of in age-gap relationships
All that said, there are a few things to be mindful of when dating with an age gap. The most obvious is the natural power imbalance. In many cases, older people are more financially stable than their younger partners, which can make it hard for there to be true equality between them. Older partners might immediately take on the more dominant role, while younger partners can find it hard to use their voice, stand up for themselves, and call out troubling behavior, per PsychCentral. Similarly, couples with age gaps — particularly heterosexual couples where the woman is older — often face social backlash. No matter how happy you make each other, you may encounter unwanted (and sometimes well-intentioned) opinions about your relationship.
Some people seek out romantic age gaps to subconsciously try to heal old wounds from their childhood, psychotherapist Dr. Jenn Mann explained for InStyle. Your relationship must be based on mutual happiness and shared values, rather than being a bandage for old trauma. If you enter into a relationship with someone older or younger than you, it's also advised to think about how and why the relationship works despite your different life stages. "[Older partners] might also be [at] a different stage and want to go [out] less, have less energy and a smaller network," Samantha Jayne explained to News.com.au, adding that "you might also struggle blending friends."
If you can find a healthy, happy union with someone despite these natural obstacles, dating outside your age might allow you to find your perfect person.